5 Green Flags in Dating
If you’ve ever tried to look for a romantic partner, you’re familiar with the term “red flags.” Maybe you have a collection of your own personal red flags that you look for when dating so you can more easily get out of a toxic situation. But we very rarely discuss relationship green flags. Here are 5 relationship green flags that will point you in the direction of a good, healthy relationship!
Your partner is your specific brand of Weird.
Everyone in the world is weird in some way. There is no such thing as “average” or “normal.” So, it’s important to find a partner who is weird in the same way that you’re weird. Whether it means having similar hobbies, being interested in the same media, or enjoying the same sense of humor, being the same brand of Weird as your partner allows your relationship to take on a dynamic free of judgement where you can both be your true selves.
Your partner has healthy, long-term friendships.
In a lot of ways, romantic relationships are not too different from friendships. If your partner has friendships that have stood the test of time and remained healthy, the likelihood of them being a healthy partner is pretty good. Of course, the operative word here is “healthy.” Just because someone has a long-term friendship does not mean that friendship is healthy by nature. But healthy friendships are a good indicator of healthy relationships.
Your partner respects your boundaries.
Nothing is more telling about a person’s character than how they respond to being told no. Setting boundaries is a must in any relationship, so it is imperative that your partner be able to respect your boundaries. If you communicate your boundaries to your partner and they accept those boundaries without an argument or without trying to find loopholes, that’s a green flag.
Your partner is self-reflective.
We all have baggage and trauma of some kind. Many big issues can arise in relationships where one or both partners are not paying attention to what they are carrying and how it affects their behavior. Your partner should be able to look inward and reflect on why they are the way they are. Many people who do this are in therapy, which is another green flag, as it shows not only that they are self-reflective, but that they also value their own self-growth and seek to improve themselves.
Your partner supports your own self-growth.
We are always changing and growing our entire lives. If you look at the person you were five years ago, chances are you aren’t exactly the same person to this day. And, also, chances are you won’t be the same person five years in the future that you are now. A good partner will recognize this and support you in becoming the person you want to be. This can show up as supporting you in changing jobs if a job is no longer serving you, supporting you in cutting ties with toxic people in your life, supporting your decision to seek coaching or therapy, or supporting you in the many other manifestations of self-growth on your particular and unique journey. If your partner supports you in your growth, chances are they want to grow with you.
Sometimes we can get so caught up in the negative things about people that we fail to see the positive things. But, it’s important to also remember the good things that people bring to the table when we are dating. Try coming up with your own list of green flags that is specific to you and what you are looking for in a relationship.